Shame + 5/50 Collage - Postnatal Depression + Mothering


collage 5 shame headsup50project.jpg

I've been introduced recently (thanks Lisa) to a new podcast which I'm really enjoying called Goop.  It's headed up by Gwyneth Paltrow (yes, the actress) and some of her staff.  Goop is Gwyneth's wellness/lifestyle website.  

It turned out there was mega synchronicity at work because my latest collage (5/50) is about Post Natal Depression and that is the very topic that was being talked about on Goop. 

The guest is psychiatrist Catherine Birndorf and they discuss the difference between postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety which was interesting.  Looking back, I think I experienced PND and anxiety after all three of my boys.  I actually chat about my experiences in my video below along with finishing my collage (click on the video below or, use this direct link.)

Of course hindsight is a wonderful thing; my 'boys' are now 23, 12 and 14.  I only wish I could sit down and have a chat with my younger self and give reassurance that I was doing a good job, that motherhood takes time to adjust to and to not be afraid to ask for what I needed both in practical and spiritual terms.  

I'm learning a lot whilst creating these collages; it feels like peeling the layers of an onion.  Each layer has its own story, it's own wisdom, some sadness, some joy - it's all been necessary to bring me to this place today.  

If you're interested in looking at my other collages, please go here

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Vulnerability and Depression - Heads Up - New Project for 2018!

Self expression, art, vulnerability and depression

And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
— Anaïs Nin
Instagram  - most popular posts #bestnine2017

Instagram - most popular posts #bestnine2017


According to Mind, a UK mental health charity:

Approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year.

New Project Introduction

If you receive my 'Confessions' Newsletter, then you'll have already received a heads up about a new project I'm undertaking.  Today, I want to share this news with you, dear reader. 

For the last nine years or so, I have swallowed an anti-depressant daily.  This medication has done a really good job of removing those horrific symptoms of clinical depression that I (and my close family) endured on and off for the previous 20 or so years.  


I turned 50 in December - I know, I can't believe it!  Maybe that has something to do with all of this, I'm not sure but I do know that I'm curious.  I'm curious about who I am without these tablets.  

I've of course talked this over with my Doctor and husband and per my doctor's advice, I'm going to begin decreasing my medicine in March when there is more natural daylight. I really don't know how this will all go for me but I certainly want to try.  


As for the personal artwork that l'll be creating, it seems only fitting to create 50 pieces of artwork to represent each year of my life.  There will be a journaling element to this work too and I see it being ongoing until at least Autumn.  I'm calling the project - HeadsUp.  

This isn't just about me though.  I want to explore the stigma behind mental health, share others' stories, shed some myths and get some honest conversation going.  

From a positive perspective, I want to look at what can help.  I'll explore how art, creativity, nature, self-care and slow living can potentially help someone who is experiencing depression as well as any personal/practical insights that I encounter along the way.  

If you feel you might have something to share, please get in touch - I'd love to hear from you. 

I do hope that you stick around to see these artworks and this project emerging over the months to come.

Jane xo


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